Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
