Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
