Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
