It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think weed is turning my hair brown
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
