just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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