C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
