I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
