Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
