you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I need moral support for this bender
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
