the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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