Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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