We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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