talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
