I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
