you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
