so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
