Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
