And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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