Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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