So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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