Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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