the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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