we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
