Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
