i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
