You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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