It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Someone came in the potted fern
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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