Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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