thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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