Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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