turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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