the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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