2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
