i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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