Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
