I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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