Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
