Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
