woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
