I bet he comes in French.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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