Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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