All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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