Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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