let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
