You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
