Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
