what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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