So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
