Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
