He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
