He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
